Thursday, March 11, 2010

Updating The Process

Hi all!
I promised to keep you posted so here we go...
Around lunch time today I saw where I had missed a call.
I checked my voice mail and it was Karla from Lifeline.
She said she needed to talk about some things.
First thought, not good.
I called her back and was promptly put through.
She picked up immediately,
I was nervous.
After she asked how our home study was going we got disconnected.
Since I was working at the hospital
I knew that my cell phone might continue to act up.
But when I tried to call her back on the hospital phone
and it also wasn't working, I knew it was time to pray.
Something very bad or very good was about to happen,
and either way I was going to need the comfort of my Heavenly Father.

Once I'd spent a few minutes in prayer I tried the number again,
it still wasn't working.
Ok, this was gonna be big.
I couldn't help but wonder if this was THE call??
I grabbed my pen & paper and took off for another phone.
As I huddled in an old isolation room I called again.

This time when Karla answered I heard the seriousness in her voice.
Have you ever noticed how you take in every detail in times like this?
She said that she had some bad news but that it would lead to a good ending.
She asked me to hear her out before I reacted.
Um, OK?!
Karla proceeded to tell me that the CCAA
(China Center for Adoptive Affairs)
had made some changes in their matching process.
Those changes meant that the first month a child was on the shared list
only families that were already logged in could be matched with them.
If a child remained on the list then beginning in the second month
they could be matched with any family.
We are still probably about 2 months from being logged in.
So, that meant that we wouldn't be matched in March
and we only have a possibility of being matched in April.
My response??
Oh, ok.
Karla explained that she was going to get with our social worker
to see how far she was from having our final home study report.
I must have not said very much because she told me she was sorry.
I told her it was ok, that I'd been following the Rumor Queen
so I knew there were some changes taking place,
and I guess I was kinda prepared.
She told me I was taking it v-e-r-y well.
Now honestly,
I just wasn't prepared to break down sobbing on the phone at work.
Well not today anyway. ; >
I told Karla that my heart was very sad.
I'm ready to be matched and
we're ready to have a picture of our baby girl.
BUT, there are rules in place for a reason,
and we intended to follow them.
Karla was precious,
she told me she wanted to start touching base about once a week.
She thanked me for my patience and understanding. :)


Today was the first time in my life I've:
1. Been thought of as an under-reacter.
2. Had to be encouraged to keep following up on something I want.


Now that I'm home and things are sinking in,
here are my thoughts.
The CCAA has made changes to keep children from
waiting in orphanages for extended lengths of time
for their parents to come and get them.
I totally respect that!
So if that means that we are still months
away from being matched with our Emily Margaret,
I'm ok with that.

Because even though I haven't seen her beautiful face,
we have a God who has.
And although I love her with all my heart,
His love is stronger.
I guess I'm finding peace and comfort in His arms.

Thanks for keeping us in your prayers!
God's blessings,
Sarah :)

12 comments:

Chris said...

Wow, you are utterly amazing!!!

Tears are running down my face for you....or should I say because of you...

I am sure you are so very disappointed...and rightly so...

But, OH!MY!GOODNESS! you handled the news with such grace and class....dignity and understanding!!

Surely, you walk hand and hand with the Lord....and perhaps at the time of the phone call, He was actually holding you in His arms...His strength became your strength...

You are such a great role-model...

I love your honesty and your very evident & strong faith in our God!!!

You, my friend, are and will be in my prayers as you continue this journey to Emily Margaret...

And how we are will be rejoicing with you as you hold your precious daughter in your arms!!!!

Tara Anderson said...

I was wondering how close you were to being LID, and if the changes would affect your wait at all. I'm SO thankful that God covered you with His grace when you got the bad news that your wait had been extended. And I'm also incredibly thankful that He is with our girls and working to bring them home to us...in HIS perfect timing!!!

Andy said...

Our God is an AWESOME God!! I am very proud of your actions and responses. The woman I married a little over ten years ago has matured so much in her daily walk with God.

I am amazed at the woman you have become. I am humbled and honored that God chose to bring you into my life.

I have said this from the beginning...This is a plan ORDAINED by God. It is already done. When the time comes, Ms. Emily Margaret chosen for us by God, will enter our lives according to His time table.

You are truly an AMAZING woman, mother, and wife. I love you, baby.

Andy

Amber said...

Wow... I'm reading so many blogs that are talking about changes in the adoption policies for international agencies. It sounds like satan is working overtime to keep our babies from coming home! I'm praying! :)

Tina said...

Karla is so sweet, she will be a rock to you during this adoption. Hope you get a speedy LID.

Chris said...

ooops....

I meant to say...

We *all* will be rejoicing with you...

Also, just wanted to let you know that you were on my mind all night long...every time I woke up, I said a prayer for all of you....

:)

Rachel McPhillips said...

It's not taking away any of the love and time you will spend with her!!! Love you, Big Sis!

Kim & Dave said...

Yeah....I know how hard those "set-backs" can be.

I kept telling myself....."These delays are actually just God's way of matching us to the perfect baby for our home/family."

But, it didn't make it easy....just not quite as hard.

Sunny said...

Oh Sarah, I thought of you when I read the CCAA's new WC matching policy. That LID can't come soon enough! I'm thinking of you and Emily Margaret (love that name!). =)

BTW~ My sister-in-law is from Good Hope (small world).

easternjourney.com said...

Hang in there! God knows exactly where Emily Margaret is and in His perfect timing, she will be forever in your arms. Keep chasing all those papers. She's worth all this run around and much more!

The Sanders said...

wow...so many bumps in the road...I pray that God will strengthen you during this journey! Precious Emily Margaret is waiting for you. Keep the faith.
Love and hugs!

Holli said...

Thinking of you! God's timing is perfect. Trust Him!
Holli

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